The unemployment chronicles part 9: How to find a 'job' in between 'jobs'

Dear readers,

First I'd like to send congratulations to my friend Nikki Ervin on her new job. She is evaluating an NGO project in the Mwingi district of Kenya, in a town called Town called kyuso. She baths in a dirty well and doesn't have clean water to brush her teeth, but she says the pay is awesome! Nikki also tells me that the country is still in a terrible famine where people are visibly hungry. Nikki gets fed through the food aid that is brought over from Ugali and also eats local greens. She informs me that she pees in a hole in the ground, and is still mastering the balancing technique of peeing in said hole (because she often pees on her feet). Nikki would also 'strangle a small child for a pedicure and a hot shower'; but in her own words, "when I'm able to do something to empower someone, no matter how marginal, the feeling is something I cant describe." Once again let's give Nikki a round of applause for improving her aim, and for doing some real good in the world!!!!!!!!! Donations Welcome. Literally 1 dollar will buy food to feed a child for two weeks.

Fun new language facts:

1. 'Sawa-Sawa' is a Kiswali word meaning “all right,”' or "good."


2. "Asante sana" means "thanks" in Swahili.


3. "Poa" means "cool" in Swahili.


4. " Kidogo" means " little bit" in Swahili.


5. "Nya maza" means " keep quiet" in Swahili.

Asante sana Nikki!!!!!!!!!!

On the home front here in Gaithersburg Maryland; where I get my food delivered by PeaPod online grocery shopping...life has been moving along quickly this week. I don't have a full-time job yet, but I did score an awesome internship opportunity planning a conference in Boston at the end of April. It's a decent stipend, plus an all expenses paid week long trip to Boston. I will be working for that internship two days a week and then temping 3 days a week starting Monday. So I may not have a 'career,' yet, but I do have an awesome opportunity, and a way to make some monies until the end of April.

For all you Massholes out there, make sure and let me know if you will be around April 18th-24th. I would love to see you!

Now I'd like to introduce a new segment I'd like to call "Your head-hunter and you. How to use your head-hunter to your best advantage."

Over the past few months I have sought the help of three separate employment agencies, (my go big or go home philosophy) and have definitely picked up a few tips I'd like to share with you.

1. Make sure to get a head hunter recommendation from a friend. This is good because not only do you have a reference right off the bat, but when you find a random employment agency online you run the risk of being screwed out of time, money, dignity, money, opportunities, money, money, and lastly money.


2. Study up on your online skills. This means going through Microsoft Office and refreshing your memory on all the basics. Some agencies have testing that allows you to make several mistakes before submitting a final answer, and some don't give you more than one wrong click before it moves on leaving you confused and in the dust...off ( get it...nudge nudge).


3. Study up on your basic grammar and spelling. I know you laugh, because by 22 you know everything about grammar and spelling right? Wrong! You will be amazed at the stupid little nuances we spell check away on a daily basis. Examples: Principle/Principal, Mispell/Misspell, and my personal favorite Maintenance/Maintanance. Also I had to stare at the wall for 10 minutes before remembering what the fuck Synonyms and Antonyms are.


4. Basic math. Seriously guys, when was the last time you did fractions at all, especially by hand. My paper looked like a 5th graders math test. It was embarrassing.


5. Be prepared to be interviewed by 3-7 people. These agencies ( at least the good ones) like to have their entire office involved in your recruitment process. This gives more people the ability to find a job that is perfect for you and your skill set. This can get daunting, and nauseating at times ( especially when in a two hour period you have 7 difference people shaking your hand and asking for your life story). My advice, take an advil before you head in.


6. Lastly, remember these people get paid when they get you a job so help them help you. Show up on time for your interviews, and iron your clothes fool.

I hope these tips help. If you are in the D.C. area and would like a few good agencies to get in touch with let me know.

Also here is a great article if you are unemployed (or preparing to be). It's a list of the 10 best sites for the unemployed including cheap eats, job sites, and tips for how to make money when you are broke.

Here is the unemployment story of the day. She hasn't given me permission to use her name so I'm leaving it out for the time being. Enjoy!

I don't know you. But I am a friend of ------- and I stumbled upon the note you tagged her in on unemployment. I did get a laugh and can totally relate! I want to say thanks for posting it! I got laid- off at the end of Oct. after working 10 years on Capitol Hill...I go through the same kind of schedule of job websites, even craigslist, drink and repeat...and I went through a period of trying to figure out where I went wrong and how this happened to me too...then realize its not me, its the economy or the stupid ass office I worked at that had problems and had to let me go. Anyway, thanks for posting! it rocked !Hope to meet you someday! Good luck with the job search!

One more thang...in the next month or show I will hopefully have a website up and running for "The Unemployment Chronicles." I will keep you updated.

Have a good evening guys!!!!!!!